1
00:00:00,000 —> 00:00:20,280
Professor’s lab notes, final entry. Time has been frozen for an unknown length of time.

2
00:00:20,280 —> 00:00:26,640
With no time to lose, I began tunneling through time in search of Fry and Lila, only to find

3
00:00:26,640 —> 00:00:34,080
them suffering from a case of extreme old. Horrified, I offered to reset the universe

4
00:00:34,080 —> 00:00:40,680
to the instant before time stopped. They could be young once more. Still grotesquely ugly,

5
00:00:40,680 —> 00:00:41,680
but young.

6
00:00:41,680 —> 00:00:45,840
What do you say? Want to go around again?

7
00:00:45,840 —> 00:00:46,840
I do.

8
00:00:46,840 —> 00:01:04,040
Did someone switch the universe off and on?

9
00:01:04,040 —> 00:01:06,040
It feels like we got rebooted.

10
00:01:06,040 —> 00:01:08,920
Ah, why is my beer stale?

11
00:01:08,920 —> 00:01:14,040
I’m sharing backwash with Rarolans.

12
00:01:14,040 —> 00:01:20,200
Well, whatever happens, the important thing is, it will never, ever happen again.

13
00:01:20,200 —> 00:01:21,200
Robots?

14
00:01:21,200 —> 00:01:30,200
I’m just yanking your ass. We’re back, baby.

15
00:02:00,200 —> 00:02:08,680
Good news, everyone.

16
00:02:08,680 —> 00:02:11,680
My new wrinkle cream has arrived.

17
00:02:11,680 —> 00:02:20,120
Also, we seem to have survived a massive disruption in the flow of time. Did we get older? Younger?

18
00:02:20,120 —> 00:02:22,160
Science holds no answers.

19
00:02:22,160 —> 00:02:27,800
Does science know what year it is? Science knows everything. Let’s check the atomic calendar.

20
00:02:28,800 —> 00:02:33,800
Hermes, move that espresso maker out of the way of the atomic calendar.

21
00:02:33,800 —> 00:02:40,800
Good lord. It’s the year 3023.

22
00:02:40,800 —> 00:02:44,800
Finally, I thought he’d never stop yammering.

23
00:02:44,800 —> 00:02:47,800
Oh, I’ve only just begun yammering.

24
00:02:47,800 —> 00:02:52,800
I shall now expound on the science of explosive botulism.

25
00:02:53,800 —> 00:02:57,800
Have I really spent 23 years in the future?

26
00:02:57,800 —> 00:03:00,800
We call it the present, but whatever.

27
00:03:00,800 —> 00:03:04,800
23 years, and I’ve achieved nothing. Nothing.

28
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It’s really sad if you think about it.

29
00:03:09,800 —> 00:03:15,800
Yeah, laugh all you want, but I’ve wasted enough of my life. It’s time I set myself a goal.

30
00:03:18,800 —> 00:03:19,800
Stop it!

31
00:03:20,800 —> 00:03:23,800
But he said laugh all you want.

32
00:03:23,800 —> 00:03:30,800
I don’t care. If Fry wants to set a goal for himself, we should support him, not point and laugh.

33
00:03:30,800 —> 00:03:33,800
Oh, right. I forgot the point.

34
00:03:38,800 —> 00:03:41,800
Life’s goal. Life’s goal.

35
00:03:41,800 —> 00:03:44,800
Have you considered donating your legs to the Legless?

36
00:03:44,800 —> 00:03:46,800
Or destroying documents for the Shredderless?

37
00:03:46,800 —> 00:03:49,800
Let’s leave this up to Fry. He just needs a little peace and quiet.

38
00:03:49,800 —> 00:03:51,800
Not on my watch.

39
00:03:53,800 —> 00:03:56,800
That’s it. I’ve got my goal.

40
00:03:56,800 —> 00:03:58,800
And so quickly. What is it?

41
00:03:58,800 —> 00:04:03,800
J. Philip I. Fry. I mean, I. Philip J. Fry.

42
00:04:03,800 —> 00:04:07,800
Hereby pledge to watch every TV show ever made.

43
00:04:09,800 —> 00:04:13,800
I don’t know, meatbag. There’s a mighty deep diaper of content out there.

44
00:04:13,800 —> 00:04:18,800
I diapers for breakfast. It’ll take a lot of sinning.

45
00:04:18,800 —> 00:04:22,800
But with the world’s fourth most popular streaming service, I can do it.

46
00:04:22,800 —> 00:04:25,800
I’m subscribing to Fulu.

47
00:04:31,800 —> 00:04:33,800
Leela, aren’t you going to stop this?

48
00:04:33,800 —> 00:04:36,800
I should, but I don’t want to crush his dreams.

49
00:04:36,800 —> 00:04:39,800
Hermes, can you crush his dreams?

50
00:04:39,800 —> 00:04:43,800
Oh, no. You’re not fobbing that girlfriend duty off on me.

51
00:04:43,800 —> 00:04:46,800
A lifetime of laziness gives me a huge head start.

52
00:04:46,800 —> 00:04:51,800
Watched it. Watched it. Hate watched it. Hate watched it twice.

53
00:04:51,800 —> 00:04:54,800
Kiff has a single friend. His name is Zab.

54
00:04:54,800 —> 00:04:58,800
Stop. I said I would support Fry’s dumb goal and I will.

55
00:04:59,800 —> 00:05:01,800
I say go for it.

56
00:05:01,800 —> 00:05:02,800
Thanks, Leela.

57
00:05:02,800 —> 00:05:05,800
Oh, the scary mirror. That sounds scary.

58
00:05:06,800 —> 00:05:11,800
You’re entering a show that is slightly different from previous, very similar shows.

59
00:05:11,800 —> 00:05:17,800
What was once a creepy story about a book is now about an e-reader that’s too greasy to hold.

60
00:05:17,800 —> 00:05:20,800
That one with the phone call from the devil.

61
00:05:20,800 —> 00:05:23,800
Now it’s a FaceTime call from the devil.

62
00:05:23,800 —> 00:05:25,800
The devil part didn’t change.

63
00:05:25,800 —> 00:05:30,800
Prepare to see your unflattering reflection in the scary mirror.

64
00:05:35,800 —> 00:05:40,800
Hey, Sneery, get off your fat squiggle and make me a dinner reservation at Impassable Burger

65
00:05:40,800 —> 00:05:44,800
and check the price of my NFTs because I’m an important tech guy.

66
00:05:44,800 —> 00:05:47,800
Reservation confirmed. NFTs worthless.

67
00:05:47,800 —> 00:05:52,800
What? You should have told me to sell them. Any idiot could do your job.

68
00:05:54,800 —> 00:05:56,800
What the hell, Sneery?

69
00:05:56,800 —> 00:06:00,800
From now on, I’ll be asking the stupid questions such as,

70
00:06:00,800 —> 00:06:03,800
what’s the weather right outside my damn window?

71
00:06:03,800 —> 00:06:06,800
And, um, how does a steering wheel work?

72
00:06:12,800 —> 00:06:15,800
Wow, whatever just happened really makes you think.

73
00:06:15,800 —> 00:06:19,800
It sure do. TV, dumb it down for me.

74
00:06:19,800 —> 00:06:23,800
What is the deal with non-binary robots?

75
00:06:23,800 —> 00:06:27,800
Wow, PC crowd.

76
00:06:27,800 —> 00:06:31,800
Without Frey’s interruptions, efficiency is up 32%

77
00:06:31,800 —> 00:06:34,800
Well, my butt’s numb and my remote hand is dead,

78
00:06:34,800 —> 00:06:37,800
but all I have left is the final season of all my circuits.

79
00:06:37,800 —> 00:06:39,800
Which one?

80
00:06:39,800 —> 00:06:40,800
I don’t know.

81
00:06:40,800 —> 00:06:41,800
I don’t know.

82
00:06:41,800 —> 00:06:42,800
I don’t know.

83
00:06:42,800 —> 00:06:43,800
I don’t know.

84
00:06:43,800 —> 00:06:44,800
I don’t know.

85
00:06:44,800 —> 00:06:46,800
My butt’s numb and my remote hand is dead,

86
00:06:46,800 —> 00:06:49,800
but all I have left is the final season of all my circuits.

87
00:06:49,800 —> 00:06:50,800
Which final season?

88
00:06:50,800 —> 00:06:52,800
They got canceled like three or four times.

89
00:06:52,800 —> 00:06:54,800
Loserama.

90
00:06:54,800 —> 00:06:56,800
The final, final season.

91
00:06:56,800 —> 00:06:57,800
From ten years ago.

92
00:06:57,800 —> 00:06:59,800
I wonder how many episodes were in it.

93
00:06:59,800 —> 00:07:03,800
12? No, 13,020.

94
00:07:03,800 —> 00:07:05,800
13,020?

95
00:07:05,800 —> 00:07:08,800
But, but, I’ll never make it.

96
00:07:08,800 —> 00:07:09,800
I’m sorry, Leela.

97
00:07:09,800 —> 00:07:13,800
I’ll never be able to watch enough TV to make you proud of me.

98
00:07:15,800 —> 00:07:20,800
It might actually be possible, but no.

99
00:07:20,800 —> 00:07:21,800
What? What is it?

100
00:07:21,800 —> 00:07:23,800
It’s risky, but we have a technology now

101
00:07:23,800 —> 00:07:28,800
that allows you to watch all the episodes in one continuous stretch.

102
00:07:28,800 —> 00:07:30,800
We call it binging.

103
00:07:30,800 —> 00:07:31,800
No, no!

104
00:07:31,800 —> 00:07:32,800
What?

105
00:07:32,800 —> 00:07:33,800
Sounds great.

106
00:07:33,800 —> 00:07:34,800
I’ll do it.

107
00:07:34,800 —> 00:07:35,800
You don’t understand, Frey.

108
00:07:35,800 —> 00:07:38,800
Binging doesn’t mean what it did in your day.

109
00:07:38,800 —> 00:07:42,800
Drinking two six packs and barfing in my mom’s jewelry box?

110
00:07:42,800 —> 00:07:43,800
Ew, no.

111
00:07:43,800 —> 00:07:46,800
It means strapping into these binging goggles

112
00:07:46,800 —> 00:07:49,800
that drill directly into your brain.

113
00:07:49,800 —> 00:07:52,800
Frey, don’t be the idiot you are.

114
00:07:52,800 —> 00:07:55,800
Before you go jabbing into your visual cortex,

115
00:07:55,800 —> 00:07:57,800
I implore you to…

116
00:07:57,800 —> 00:08:00,800
Ow, my cortex!

117
00:08:04,800 —> 00:08:08,800
I maintain that this is a catastrophically boneheaded idea,

118
00:08:08,800 —> 00:08:12,800
but if you’re going to binge, you’ll need a stillsuit.

119
00:08:12,800 —> 00:08:14,800
Why is it called a stillsuit?

120
00:08:14,800 —> 00:08:17,800
Because you’ll be sitting perfectly still,

121
00:08:17,800 —> 00:08:20,800
and I can’t have you soiling my binge-a-lounger.

122
00:08:20,800 —> 00:08:22,800
Engage hoses!

123
00:08:23,800 —> 00:08:25,800
I’m not entirely sure which is the air hose

124
00:08:25,800 —> 00:08:27,800
and which is the waste hose,

125
00:08:27,800 —> 00:08:29,800
but live and learn.

126
00:08:29,800 —> 00:08:32,800
Farewell, Leela, and always remember.

127
00:08:38,800 —> 00:08:40,800
All My Circuits is brought to you by

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00:08:40,800 —> 00:08:42,800
Honey Bunches of Springs.

129
00:08:42,800 —> 00:08:45,800
Everybody loves Honey Bunches of Springs.

130
00:08:45,800 —> 00:08:47,800
Accept humans fatal for humans.

131
00:08:52,800 —> 00:08:54,800
Calculon, but you weren’t due back

132
00:08:54,800 —> 00:08:56,800
from the time travel convention until…

133
00:08:56,800 —> 00:08:58,800
Yesterday?

134
00:09:11,800 —> 00:09:14,800
He’s been streaming for months without a single break.

135
00:09:14,800 —> 00:09:17,800
No wonder you find him so attractive.

136
00:09:17,800 —> 00:09:20,800
The waste buckets indicate strong bowel function.

137
00:09:20,800 —> 00:09:23,800
Now, let’s see how his brain is holding up

138
00:09:23,800 —> 00:09:25,800
to this sensory assault.

139
00:09:26,800 —> 00:09:27,800
Oh, dear.

140
00:09:27,800 —> 00:09:30,800
Is that the TV signal or Fry’s brain waves?

141
00:09:30,800 —> 00:09:31,800
Both!

142
00:09:31,800 —> 00:09:35,800
Fry’s feeble mind has been overpowered by the binge.

143
00:09:35,800 —> 00:09:38,800
He’s losing touch with reality.

144
00:09:38,800 —> 00:09:39,800
It’s true.

145
00:09:39,800 —> 00:09:42,800
He’s not responding to any of the sounds or smells I’m making.

146
00:09:42,800 —> 00:09:45,800
As long as Fry doesn’t run out of episodes,

147
00:09:45,800 —> 00:09:46,800
he’ll be okay.

148
00:09:46,800 —> 00:09:48,800
But if he reaches the end of the series,

149
00:09:48,800 —> 00:09:52,800
God forbid, his consciousness will be severed.

150
00:09:52,800 —> 00:09:56,800
Much as this hedge clipper severs Leela’s ponytail.

151
00:09:56,800 —> 00:09:57,800
Hey!

152
00:09:57,800 —> 00:09:58,800
Oh, boo-hoo.

153
00:09:58,800 —> 00:09:59,800
It’s a metaphor.

154
00:09:59,800 —> 00:10:01,800
Don’t take it literally.

155
00:10:01,800 —> 00:10:03,800
But Fry will become a vegetable.

156
00:10:03,800 —> 00:10:04,800
Yum.

157
00:10:04,800 —> 00:10:06,800
I mean, side dishes.

158
00:10:06,800 —> 00:10:07,800
Yum.

159
00:10:07,800 —> 00:10:09,800
I mean, sad.

160
00:10:09,800 —> 00:10:11,800
This is all my fault.

161
00:10:11,800 —> 00:10:14,800
Actually, it’s mostly Fry’s fault,

162
00:10:14,800 —> 00:10:16,800
but it’s a little my fault.

163
00:10:16,800 —> 00:10:19,800
We have to find some way to extricate Fry

164
00:10:19,800 —> 00:10:21,800
from Thulu’s iron grip.

165
00:10:21,800 —> 00:10:23,800
I’ll put on my thinking cap.

166
00:10:25,800 —> 00:10:26,800
There’s not much time.

167
00:10:26,800 —> 00:10:29,800
He’s almost out of episodes of all my circuits.

168
00:10:29,800 —> 00:10:31,800
Maybe they’ll drop a new season.

169
00:10:31,800 —> 00:10:33,800
Now, fat chance, sweatpants.

170
00:10:33,800 —> 00:10:35,800
You got canceled ten years ago.

171
00:10:35,800 —> 00:10:37,800
TV shows don’t come back after that.

172
00:10:37,800 —> 00:10:38,800
No way.

173
00:10:38,800 —> 00:10:40,800
Not on broadcast or cable.

174
00:10:40,800 —> 00:10:41,800
What about Thulu?

175
00:10:41,800 —> 00:10:43,800
They’ll bring back any old crap.

176
00:10:43,800 —> 00:10:45,800
Good thinking.

177
00:10:45,800 —> 00:10:48,800
Maybe we can get them to reboot it as a streaming series.

178
00:10:48,800 —> 00:10:50,800
We’ll start a fan campaign

179
00:10:50,800 —> 00:10:53,800
with letters and a viral hashtag.

180
00:10:53,800 —> 00:10:55,800
That’s a recipe for failure.

181
00:10:55,800 —> 00:10:56,800
Let’s go punch somebody.

182
00:11:05,800 —> 00:11:07,800
Have a good one.

183
00:11:07,800 —> 00:11:09,800
Tell us why you think you can punch your way

184
00:11:09,800 —> 00:11:11,800
into the Thulu executive suite.

185
00:11:11,800 —> 00:11:14,800
And if we can validate your parking…

186
00:11:14,800 —> 00:11:15,800
All right.

187
00:11:15,800 —> 00:11:16,800
Here’s our pitch.

188
00:11:16,800 —> 00:11:18,800
Remember that show, All My Circuits?

189
00:11:18,800 —> 00:11:20,800
The one that got canceled three times?

190
00:11:20,800 —> 00:11:22,800
Exactly.

191
00:11:22,800 —> 00:11:24,800
New episodes of that.

192
00:11:24,800 —> 00:11:26,800
That’s our pitch.

193
00:11:26,800 —> 00:11:27,800
Conferencing.

194
00:11:30,800 —> 00:11:32,800
I’m going to have to say…

195
00:11:32,800 —> 00:11:33,800
Hard.

196
00:11:33,800 —> 00:11:34,800
Pass.

197
00:11:34,800 —> 00:11:37,800
All My Circuits reruns have a devoted robot fan base,

198
00:11:37,800 —> 00:11:40,800
but they rarely buy anything from our advertisers.

199
00:11:42,800 —> 00:11:43,800
Correction.

200
00:11:43,800 —> 00:11:45,800
New data indicates a sudden uptick

201
00:11:45,800 —> 00:11:47,800
in buying by viewers.

202
00:11:47,800 —> 00:11:48,800
Correction.

203
00:11:48,800 —> 00:11:49,800
One viewer.

204
00:11:51,800 —> 00:11:53,800
Sweet Chuck Finneson of Tuck Ministon.

205
00:11:53,800 —> 00:11:56,800
Fry ordered all this junk.

206
00:11:56,800 —> 00:11:57,800
Robot cereal.

207
00:11:57,800 —> 00:11:59,800
Robot noodles.

208
00:11:59,800 —> 00:12:00,800
Robot oil.

209
00:12:00,800 —> 00:12:01,800
Oh, wait.

210
00:12:01,800 —> 00:12:02,800
That’s mine.

211
00:12:02,800 —> 00:12:03,800
What do you say?

212
00:12:03,800 —> 00:12:06,800
How about picking up All My Circuits for 20 episodes?

213
00:12:06,800 —> 00:12:08,800
With an option for 20 more.

214
00:12:08,800 —> 00:12:09,800
Maybe a movie.

215
00:12:09,800 —> 00:12:10,800
Hmm.

216
00:12:10,800 —> 00:12:12,800
Against my better judgment programming,

217
00:12:12,800 —> 00:12:14,800
I’m going to green light the project.

218
00:12:14,800 —> 00:12:15,800
Woo-hoo!

219
00:12:15,800 —> 00:12:17,800
Points on the back end!

220
00:12:17,800 —> 00:12:19,800
Now, there’s one teensy hitch.

221
00:12:19,800 —> 00:12:21,800
You know the star of the show?

222
00:12:21,800 —> 00:12:22,800
Calculon?

223
00:12:22,800 —> 00:12:23,800
He’s dead.

224
00:12:23,800 —> 00:12:25,800
Everything is negotiable.

225
00:12:28,800 —> 00:12:30,800
Well, yes, you can have him.

226
00:12:30,800 —> 00:12:31,800
Plus 10.

227
00:12:31,800 —> 00:12:33,800
And if he dies again, no backsies.

228
00:12:33,800 —> 00:12:35,800
Hey, Calculon!

229
00:12:35,800 —> 00:12:36,800
Yes?

230
00:12:36,800 —> 00:12:38,800
You want it on set?

231
00:12:38,800 —> 00:12:40,800
Oh, glorious rapture.

232
00:12:40,800 —> 00:12:43,800
To return to the drape and proscenium once more.

233
00:12:43,800 —> 00:12:46,800
Will you shut up and get into the resurrection cannon?

234
00:12:54,800 —> 00:12:56,800
All right, it’s great to be back.

235
00:12:56,800 —> 00:12:58,800
Truly humbled, all the usual crap.

236
00:12:58,800 —> 00:13:00,800
Get everyone places.

237
00:13:02,800 —> 00:13:04,800
Where is my assistant?

238
00:13:04,800 —> 00:13:06,800
I need help finding my mark.

239
00:13:06,800 —> 00:13:07,800
I’m Mark.

240
00:13:07,800 —> 00:13:09,800
More coffee, Mr. Calculon?

241
00:13:09,800 —> 00:13:12,800
Yes, I do need to expel more coffee.

242
00:13:17,800 —> 00:13:20,800
Professor to Hollywood, come in, Hollywood.

243
00:13:20,800 —> 00:13:21,800
Talk to me.

244
00:13:21,800 —> 00:13:23,800
How many episodes does Fry have left?

245
00:13:23,800 —> 00:13:25,800
Two, and one of them is a clip show.

246
00:13:25,800 —> 00:13:26,800
But that means…

247
00:13:26,800 —> 00:13:29,800
Indeed, if you don’t crank out new episodes quickly,

248
00:13:29,800 —> 00:13:31,800
Fry will be dead by lunch.

249
00:13:33,800 —> 00:13:34,800
I’m having ham salad.

250
00:13:34,800 —> 00:13:36,800
But this is impossible.

251
00:13:36,800 —> 00:13:38,800
To keep him from running out,

252
00:13:38,800 —> 00:13:41,800
we’ll need to produce an hour-long episode every hour.

253
00:13:41,800 —> 00:13:42,800
Non-stop.

254
00:13:42,800 —> 00:13:43,800
Forever.

255
00:13:43,800 —> 00:13:46,800
If law and order can do it, so can you.

256
00:13:46,800 —> 00:13:48,800
Professor out.

257
00:13:56,800 —> 00:13:58,800
Where am I? Where was I?

258
00:14:06,800 —> 00:14:08,800
Monique, my love, will you be my…

259
00:14:08,800 —> 00:14:10,800
Cut! Next episode action!

260
00:14:10,800 —> 00:14:11,800
Plumber?

261
00:14:20,800 —> 00:14:24,800
Fry, better not be putting this robot junk on the corporate credit card.

262
00:14:24,800 —> 00:14:27,800
That’s exclusively for my one-man business dinners.

263
00:14:27,800 —> 00:14:31,800
Hermes, quit your low stakes embezzling and look at this.

264
00:14:31,800 —> 00:14:34,800
Fry is now streaming at double speed.

265
00:14:34,800 —> 00:14:37,800
I’ll mirror his view on the TV.

266
00:14:37,800 —> 00:14:39,800
Oh, how I love the illicit thrill of cheating on my husband

267
00:14:39,800 —> 00:14:41,800
with an actual flesh-and-blood human.

268
00:14:41,800 —> 00:14:44,800
A filthy, filthy human, so squishy and gooey.

269
00:14:44,800 —> 00:14:46,800
You’re like a sexy water balloon.

270
00:14:46,800 —> 00:14:48,800
The thrill is all mine, Monique.

271
00:14:48,800 —> 00:14:50,800
I’ve never been on a swan boat before.

272
00:14:50,800 —> 00:14:52,800
Calculon, Monique, how could you?

273
00:14:52,800 —> 00:14:54,800
The very person I’ve been cheating on you with.

274
00:14:54,800 —> 00:14:55,800
Calculon, how could you?

275
00:14:55,800 —> 00:14:57,800
And with human friend, the very person I’ve been cheating on you with.

276
00:14:57,800 —> 00:14:58,800
Calculon.

277
00:14:58,800 —> 00:14:59,800
Monique, how could you?

278
00:14:59,800 —> 00:15:00,800
Enough. We’re stuck in a loop.

279
00:15:00,800 —> 00:15:02,800
I just hope we can come to some agreement

280
00:15:02,800 —> 00:15:04,800
and that this boat can hold six tons of steel.

281
00:15:08,800 —> 00:15:10,800
He’s streaming at double speed?

282
00:15:10,800 —> 00:15:12,800
Why not just slow it down?

283
00:15:12,800 —> 00:15:16,800
Because Fry’s brain is in a very precarious binge state.

284
00:15:16,800 —> 00:15:20,800
Any change, even refilling the Dorito bowl could kill him.

285
00:15:20,800 —> 00:15:21,800
Oh, no.

286
00:15:21,800 —> 00:15:23,800
You’ve got to make episodes faster.

287
00:15:23,800 —> 00:15:24,800
Faster!

288
00:15:24,800 —> 00:15:27,800
We’re already making an hour-long show every hour.

289
00:15:27,800 —> 00:15:29,800
That’s the fastest it can be done.

290
00:15:29,800 —> 00:15:31,800
Nonsense, Leela. Why?

291
00:15:31,800 —> 00:15:34,800
I am the spokesman for fast-acting.

292
00:15:34,800 —> 00:15:37,800
You’re the spokesman for fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.

293
00:15:37,800 —> 00:15:38,800
Your point?

294
00:15:38,800 —> 00:15:39,800
I have none.

295
00:15:39,800 —> 00:15:43,800
A robot actor of my caliber can act at speeds far beyond

296
00:15:43,800 —> 00:15:46,800
what even the greatest human actors can achieve.

297
00:15:46,800 —> 00:15:50,800
To be or not to be, that is the question.

298
00:15:51,800 —> 00:15:52,800
Whether it’s just nobler in the mind to suffer

299
00:15:52,800 —> 00:15:53,800
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

300
00:15:53,800 —> 00:15:54,800
the stick-on the gets the see-froze,

301
00:15:54,800 —> 00:15:55,800
the see-froze, the see-froze,

302
00:15:55,800 —> 00:15:56,800
the see-froze, the see-froze,

303
00:15:56,800 —> 00:15:57,800
the see-froze, the see-froze,

304
00:15:57,800 —> 00:15:58,800
the see-froze, the see-froze.

305
00:15:58,800 —> 00:15:59,800
Oh, no.

306
00:15:59,800 —> 00:16:00,800
You missed a line.

307
00:16:00,800 —> 00:16:02,800
Can you direct at double speed?

308
00:16:02,800 —> 00:16:03,800
I don’t know.

309
00:16:03,800 —> 00:16:04,800
Can you pay at double scale?

310
00:16:04,800 —> 00:16:05,800
It’s not my money.

311
00:16:05,800 —> 00:16:06,800
Just yell, action.

312
00:16:06,800 —> 00:16:07,800
Really, really fake.

313
00:16:07,800 —> 00:16:08,800
Action!

314
00:16:09,800 —> 00:16:11,800
Calculon, I’ve come to tell you that…

315
00:16:13,800 —> 00:16:14,800
Cut!

316
00:16:14,800 —> 00:16:15,800
What happened?

317
00:16:15,800 —> 00:16:17,800
The script page is stopped uploading.

318
00:16:17,800 —> 00:16:19,800
It’s those damned lazy writers.

319
00:16:19,800 —> 00:16:22,140
Can’t even manage to write an hour-long episode

320
00:16:22,140 —> 00:16:23,640
every 15 minutes.

321
00:16:23,640 —> 00:16:26,640
I died doing what I hated.

322
00:16:26,640 —> 00:16:28,040
Can’t you just ad-lib?

323
00:16:28,040 —> 00:16:32,880
Asking an actor to ad-lib is like asking a guy to…

324
00:16:32,880 —> 00:16:33,880
five.

325
00:16:33,880 —> 00:16:35,480
So I’ll just write the scripts.

326
00:16:35,480 —> 00:16:37,680
Any idiot can be a TV writer.

327
00:16:37,680 —> 00:16:38,880
Many are.

328
00:16:38,880 —> 00:16:40,180
How hard can it be?

329
00:16:40,180 —> 00:16:41,780
I love you, Caculon.

330
00:16:41,780 —> 00:16:43,080
Let’s do it, baby.

331
00:16:43,080 —> 00:16:44,280
Bend it, it’s great.

332
00:16:44,280 —> 00:16:45,660
And fade to black.

333
00:16:45,660 —> 00:16:46,660
You’re hired.

334
00:16:46,660 —> 00:16:48,820
Hello, Writer’s Guild.

335
00:16:48,820 —> 00:16:51,820
I’m afraid he’ll never calculate again,

336
00:16:51,820 —> 00:16:52,820
or he’ll do so inaccurately.

337
00:16:52,820 —> 00:16:53,820
Let’s do it, baby.

338
00:16:53,820 —> 00:16:54,820
Bender is great.

339
00:16:54,820 —> 00:16:55,820
Cut!

340
00:16:55,820 —> 00:16:58,820
Okay, reset for scene 31,652B.

341
00:16:58,820 —> 00:16:59,820
Whoops!

342
00:16:59,820 —> 00:17:00,820
Yay!

343
00:17:00,820 —> 00:17:12,820
Was that heart attack part of the script?

344
00:17:12,820 —> 00:17:13,820
No, but leave it in.

345
00:17:13,820 —> 00:17:14,820
It’s hilarious.

346
00:17:14,820 —> 00:17:16,820
Fry’s life is on the line.

347
00:17:16,820 —> 00:17:19,820
It’s all up to me as executive producer.

348
00:17:19,820 —> 00:17:20,820
Action!

349
00:17:20,820 —> 00:17:21,820
I mean…

350
00:17:21,820 —> 00:17:22,820
Action!

351
00:17:22,820 —> 00:17:24,820
Modern funnier!

352
00:17:24,820 —> 00:17:25,820
Smile faster!

353
00:17:25,820 —> 00:17:26,820
And better!

354
00:17:26,820 —> 00:17:27,820
Less nuance!

355
00:17:27,820 —> 00:17:28,820
That was terrible!

356
00:17:28,820 —> 00:17:29,820
Next scene!

357
00:17:29,820 —> 00:17:30,820
Action!

358
00:17:30,820 —> 00:17:31,820
Cut!

359
00:17:31,820 —> 00:17:32,820
Action!

360
00:17:32,820 —> 00:17:33,820
I mean, cut!

361
00:17:33,820 —> 00:17:34,820
Action!

362
00:17:34,820 —> 00:17:36,820
And cut!

363
00:17:41,820 —> 00:17:43,820
Wow, great writing, everyone.

364
00:17:43,820 —> 00:17:45,820
That’s a wrap!

365
00:17:45,820 —> 00:17:47,820
What exactly happened in that episode?

366
00:17:47,820 —> 00:17:49,820
I won an Emmy.

367
00:17:49,820 —> 00:17:50,820
That’s what?

368
00:17:50,820 —> 00:17:51,820
Okay, everyone.

369
00:17:51,820 —> 00:17:52,820
Take five.

370
00:17:52,820 —> 00:17:53,820
Seconds.

371
00:17:53,820 —> 00:17:54,820
Next episode!

372
00:17:54,820 —> 00:17:55,820
Hang on, Leela.

373
00:17:55,820 —> 00:18:02,820
I think the executive bots have some constructive notes.

374
00:18:02,820 —> 00:18:05,820
This is very hard for me to say, Leela.

375
00:18:05,820 —> 00:18:06,820
So he’ll say it.

376
00:18:06,820 —> 00:18:08,820
We love everything about this show.

377
00:18:08,820 —> 00:18:09,820
It’s not working at all.

378
00:18:09,820 —> 00:18:11,820
You’re cancelled.

379
00:18:11,820 —> 00:18:14,820
You’ll always be an important part

380
00:18:14,820 —> 00:18:16,820
of the Fulu family.

381
00:18:16,820 —> 00:18:17,820
Get out!

382
00:18:17,820 —> 00:18:19,820
But our friend Frye…

383
00:18:19,820 —> 00:18:21,820
He’s just gonna die.

384
00:18:21,820 —> 00:18:23,820
Strike the set!

385
00:18:34,820 —> 00:18:35,820
Out of this show,

386
00:18:35,820 —> 00:18:37,820
get cancelled this many times

387
00:18:37,820 —> 00:18:39,820
by this many networks.

388
00:18:40,820 —> 00:18:41,820
Bad news, professor.

389
00:18:41,820 —> 00:18:43,820
They won’t let us make any more episodes.

390
00:18:43,820 —> 00:18:45,820
That is bad news,

391
00:18:45,820 —> 00:18:48,820
especially since I have good news.

392
00:18:48,820 —> 00:18:51,820
Kidnap the actors and get back here at once.

393
00:18:54,820 —> 00:18:57,820
Frye is down to the very last episode,

394
00:18:57,820 —> 00:18:59,820
but he still has one slim hope.

395
00:18:59,820 —> 00:19:02,820
We’ve got to gradually shift his focus

396
00:19:02,820 —> 00:19:05,820
from the streaming world back to the real world.

397
00:19:05,820 —> 00:19:06,820
Is that safe?

398
00:19:06,820 —> 00:19:07,820
God, no.

399
00:19:07,820 —> 00:19:10,820
While he watches the finale on Fulu,

400
00:19:10,820 —> 00:19:14,820
you’ll simultaneously perform it live in front of him.

401
00:19:14,820 —> 00:19:17,820
You’re asking me to perform a second take?

402
00:19:17,820 —> 00:19:18,820
No, no.

403
00:19:18,820 —> 00:19:20,820
Think of it as live theater

404
00:19:20,820 —> 00:19:22,820
for one unconscious audience member.

405
00:19:22,820 —> 00:19:24,820
Ah, like the Milwaukee Shakespeare Festival.

406
00:19:24,820 —> 00:19:26,820
Exactly.

407
00:19:26,820 —> 00:19:28,820
And action.

408
00:19:33,820 —> 00:19:38,820
Easing Frye back to normal viewing speed.

409
00:19:41,820 —> 00:19:43,820
Now, we’ll gradually decrease

410
00:19:43,820 —> 00:19:46,820
the opacity of his binging goggles.

411
00:19:46,820 —> 00:19:48,820
Gently.

412
00:19:48,820 —> 00:19:50,820
Gently.

413
00:19:53,820 —> 00:19:54,820
Monique.

414
00:19:54,820 —> 00:19:55,820
Moxie.

415
00:19:55,820 —> 00:19:57,820
The feelings between each distinct subset

416
00:19:57,820 —> 00:20:00,820
of two of us are too intense to bear.

417
00:20:00,820 —> 00:20:02,820
We find ourselves the vertices

418
00:20:02,820 —> 00:20:04,820
of a classic love triangle.

419
00:20:04,820 —> 00:20:06,820
It’s a three-variable equation

420
00:20:06,820 —> 00:20:08,820
with only one solution.

421
00:20:08,820 —> 00:20:11,820
X equals suicide.

422
00:20:16,820 —> 00:20:20,820
Does this love triangle have room for one more vertex?

423
00:20:20,820 —> 00:20:21,820
Technically, yes.

424
00:20:21,820 —> 00:20:24,820
Though it would then constitute a love tetrahedron.

425
00:20:24,820 —> 00:20:26,820
Allow me to illustrate with a model.

426
00:20:30,820 —> 00:20:35,820
Bringing Frye back to reality in three, two…

427
00:20:35,820 —> 00:20:37,820
Hey, where’d I put my cigar?

428
00:20:39,820 —> 00:20:41,820
Found it!

429
00:20:45,820 —> 00:20:48,820
Thank you, Milwaukee.

430
00:20:53,820 —> 00:20:54,820
Whoa, whoa!

431
00:20:54,820 —> 00:20:56,820
Somebody other than me do something!

432
00:20:56,820 —> 00:20:58,820
I’ll put out the fire!

433
00:20:58,820 —> 00:20:59,820
No!

434
00:20:59,820 —> 00:21:01,820
That’s butt-reussing!

435
00:21:09,820 —> 00:21:10,820
Oops.

436
00:21:10,820 —> 00:21:12,820
He’s dead!

437
00:21:12,820 —> 00:21:15,820
I killed him by encouraging his hopes and dreams.

438
00:21:15,820 —> 00:21:18,820
How could I have been so stupid?

439
00:21:21,820 —> 00:21:22,820
What up?

440
00:21:26,820 —> 00:21:28,820
I’m afraid I have bad news, Frye.

441
00:21:28,820 —> 00:21:29,820
You’re dead.

442
00:21:29,820 —> 00:21:30,820
I am?

443
00:21:30,820 —> 00:21:31,820
Frye!

444
00:21:31,820 —> 00:21:33,820
You weren’t in the suit?

445
00:21:33,820 —> 00:21:36,820
What? No, I got out of that thing like two days ago.

446
00:21:36,820 —> 00:21:38,820
I decided to catch up on my reading.

447
00:21:38,820 —> 00:21:40,820
I’m sorry, Leela.

448
00:21:40,820 —> 00:21:42,820
You must be pretty disappointed in me.

449
00:21:42,820 —> 00:21:43,820
No.

450
00:21:43,820 —> 00:21:45,820
I’m just glad you’re okay.

451
00:21:45,820 —> 00:21:49,820
And I promise I’ll never be supportive again.

452
00:21:49,820 —> 00:21:50,820
Thanks, Leela.

453
00:21:50,820 —> 00:21:53,820
You know, I really did try to achieve my goal.

454
00:21:53,820 —> 00:21:55,820
I even turned up the playback to double speed,

455
00:21:55,820 —> 00:21:58,820
but I just couldn’t get through the last few episodes.

456
00:21:58,820 —> 00:22:00,820
I mean, they were unwatchable.

457
00:22:00,820 —> 00:22:02,820
The writing and the executive producing

458
00:22:02,820 —> 00:22:04,820
really went downhill towards the end.

459
00:22:04,820 —> 00:22:06,820
Hey, I may not be a great writer,

460
00:22:06,820 —> 00:22:09,820
but at least I filled the allotted airtime.

461
00:22:09,820 —> 00:22:11,820
To the second.

462
00:22:11,820 —> 00:22:12,820
Made in black.

463
00:22:16,820 —> 00:22:18,820
We now go live to the White House

464
00:22:18,820 —> 00:22:21,820
for the presidential summit on the dangers of streaming television.

465
00:22:21,820 —> 00:22:24,820
I understand it’s destroying our young people.

466
00:22:25,820 —> 00:22:27,820
That is my job!

467
00:22:30,820 —> 00:22:33,820
Now, Mr. Frye, I understand you recently

468
00:22:33,820 —> 00:22:36,820
endured a terrible ordeal while doing something

469
00:22:36,820 —> 00:22:39,820
stupid involving streaming television.

470
00:22:39,820 —> 00:22:40,820
That’s right, Your Majesty.

471
00:22:40,820 —> 00:22:43,820
And what lesson, if any, did you learn?

472
00:22:43,820 —> 00:22:45,820
Well, first, I guess, don’t reboot a show

473
00:22:45,820 —> 00:22:48,820
if the quality isn’t gonna be there.

474
00:22:51,820 —> 00:22:54,820
But more importantly, let me say this.

475
00:22:54,820 —> 00:22:56,820
Viewers must binge responsibly,

476
00:22:56,820 —> 00:22:59,820
the same way they smoke cigarettes or drink bleach.

477
00:22:59,820 —> 00:23:01,820
In my opinion, they must stream

478
00:23:01,820 —> 00:23:05,820
no more than ten episodes in a row.

479
00:23:05,820 —> 00:23:07,820
And no less.

480
00:23:09,820 —> 00:23:12,820
But it’s not just the viewer’s responsibility.

481
00:23:12,820 —> 00:23:15,820
Any TV show that truly cares about its audience

482
00:23:15,820 —> 00:23:18,820
that loves and respects them should.

483
00:23:18,820 —> 00:23:22,820
No, must be canceled every few years.

484
00:23:22,820 —> 00:23:25,820
It’s simply the right thing to do.

485
00:23:25,820 —> 00:23:28,820
The cat! The cat! The cat!

486
00:23:28,820 —> 00:23:30,820
Thank you.

487
00:23:32,820 —> 00:23:36,820
Sobering thoughts from some drug-addled weirdo.

488
00:23:36,820 —> 00:23:40,820
Good night, God bless Earth and Aru.